Here are today’s contestants on WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY:
- Scott Borst, tireless sound engineer,
- Lauren Amanda Barham, popular reader of TESLA GIRLS, and…
- Douglass Barre, summer cold sufferer and notorious procrastinator.
And I’m your host, Dara Ellis, metafictional secret character of CHIMERICAL TALES. Welcome to WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY!
Today on WFIIA (and be glad you’re not pronouncing that acronym, Faithful Listeners!) we’ll be playing the category of “This Week’s Missing Podcast.” Remember, at any time you can ring in and Blame Someone!
I blame Doug!
Me too! I blame Doug!
Sorry, Lauren, you have to buzz in to Blame Someone. Scott, you blame Doug… let’s put that up on the board! An early risk, will it pay off for Mister Borst?
Please, Lauren, you really need to ring in first.
All right. Our first clue is this… the missing file was… TESLA GIRLS!
I blame Doug!
Wow, a gutsy accusation from the reader of TESLA GIRLS herself… and another Blame Marker goes on the board for Doug! Shall we continue? Of course we shall, that was a rhetorical question. Let’s move on to our second clue… after the missing file was posted, the CHIMERICAL PODCAST sound engineer immediately sent email to the webmaster requesting a replacement file… that never appeared!
Wow! Both Scott and Lauren buzzing in simultaneously! Lauren, you come first both alphabetically and in terms of hair. Who would you like to blame?
Wow… we’ve got four Blame Markers for Doug and we haven’t even heard from him! One last clue, this is your chance to try to make a comeback, Doug… here goes: the file was recorded both scant moments after the chapter was written… and minutes before the reader was going on vacation for the weekend!
Yes, Doug! Finally buzzing in to clear your name? Who would you like to blame?
Yes, I know who you are. I mentioned it right after you buzzed in. Who are you blaming?
Seriously, dude, are we going to make an Abbott and Costello routine out of this?
I blame myself.
Wow, folks! It’s a first here on WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY! Contestant Douglass Barre is actually blaming… himself!
Can I blame him more?
Sure. You did buzz, and that seems to be the only rule on this game.
I blame Doug more too.
Doug, we’re moving into Final Accusation… do you have any defense?
I had a cold? I didn’t write the chapter until the night before? I didn’t know Lauren and Tucker were going on vacation? I didn’t save the file right before I sent it to Scott and closed the application? I blew my nose and it came out of my eye?
Eww. Gross. Besides being disgusting, I’m afraid that none of those flimsy excuses can get you out from under the unbelievable SEVEN BLAME MARKERS you’ve racked up this game! The only thing you can do to redeem yourself is to write a thinly-veiled game show radio play to entertain everyone who wanted to listen to the podcast on time!
Can I use different font colors?
No. Well, folks, that looks to be it for today’s episode of WHOSE FAULT IS IT ANYWAY! I’m your host, Dara Ellis, look for me later this year somewhere on CHIMERICAL TALES!
Loki forever! Woo!
Hopefully not to be continued…
© 2013 by Douglass Barre, All Rights Reserved.